During a nighttime over-the-beach infiltration, a SOCS was separated from his swim buddy, due to the Category 4 hurricane that had recently begun transforming the ocean into twenty-foot walls of water.  His GPS was fried, his comms were dead and there was no moon.  But with his knowledge of ocean currents, Jupiter's moon phases, and by being able to decipher the pattern of how the rain was hitting the ocean, Senior determined that he needed to swim due "that way".  As he pulled his swim mask back over his face and began to take his first stroke, he felt it on his hip — a bump. Then another.

He stopped and studied the waves surrounding him, which is when he spotted it. 

"Shit, she's a big one", he thought, right before a smile as wide as the moon overtook his face.  Tagged by NOAA, this particular Great White was called, “Fin Diesel", due him having been named during NOAA's annual take your daughter to work day.  According to records obtained through FOIA, Fin is 22 feet long and weighs-in at 5,600 pounds.

Senior drew his 8-inch dive knife from its ankle sheath and, without hesitation, threw it into the darkness.  "I don't need you bitching about how I cheated", Senior Chief said with a growl. And before the shark could react, Senior grabbed it by its gills and headbutted that mother fucker.  The shark was stunned and tried to squirm out of Senior's grip, but the sailor just reared his head back, looked the shark in the eyes and headbutted it again.  

While the shark was regaining its composure, Senior latched on to its dorsal fin and rode that bitch three nautical miles back to shore, where he dismounted her like a cowboy at the rodeo and slapped it on the ass. 

“Thanks for the ride, sweetheart,” he allegedly whispered (although there is no evidence regarding this particular part of the story).

And because nobody saw it, of course nobody believed it—until a marine biologist noticed a tattoo that had been inked into Fin Diesel's side, using dip spit and an IV needle.

It simply read:

“Property of NSW”

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